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Unfortunately, all the green backgrounds suck, so your only real choice here is Master Chef

Null Rod and even Imi Statue wanted in, but I reminded them that this was the artifact list and party poopers were not welcome

For the low cost of three mana, this 1/4 Human Wizard provides each enchantment creature under your control with a powerful suite of deathtouch, lifelink, and hexproof, allowing them to gain your life while preventing your opponents from targeting them with removal

The good news is, Black-Green has a critical mass of Collect Evidence cards which will trigger Insidious Roots, but this still kind of asks a lot of you

Reddit user GoodLuckGuy comments that "there are so many things wrong with this art, you could write a book about it." The placement of the monkeys near the ooze is certainly bizarre, and there are very few cards where there's so much going on outside the creature itself